


Gordon Gets a Fucking Rest

by greasby



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Fluff, Hair Washing, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Smut, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26220376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greasby/pseuds/greasby
Summary: Gordon had gone thru so much please let him rest.... also I wrote this fic at 3am so it's not very good... and it's my first fanfiction hkajdldfhka... also my friend edited this so thank u ghostie :)
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 12
Kudos: 178





	Gordon Gets a Fucking Rest

It was in a moment of tranquillity and peace, which were seldom in his life, that Gordon Freeman found time to rest. It was busy in the White Forest lab, scientists and sentries running off to do their jobs. But Gordon had found a spare room, away from all the noise, that seemed to be an extra storage closet for miscellaneous equipment. There was a cot, blood-stained and uncomfortable looking, but hey, Gordon's dealt with much worse. He set down his guns on a nearby counter, along with the hefty gravity gun. 

The HEV suit was difficult to take off. So many straps and buttons and buckles, all of the metal plates and foam padding and armor. It all came off, and Gordon winced at his stomach wound, much worse than he first thought. His entire body was sticky with blood, sweat, and various alien fluids. There were small pricks along his back and arms from the suit's painkillers, and Gordon sighs to himself, knowing he's probably addicted to the morphine by now. As he observed his body in a busted up mirror, the door to the storage room opened, and someone familiar peeked their head in. 

"Oh, hey, Gordon, you, uh," Barney stuttered, taking in Gordon's HEV-less body. "Man, bud, you look awful. Why haven't you seen a medic for that nasty wound you got?" Gordon touched the soaked bandages that were hastily applied to his stomach.

'I didn't have the time.' He signed. 'It's fine.' Barney looked at him disapprovingly. 

"Now, Doc, come on. There's some showers down the hall. Pretty sure they still have hot water." Gordon raised his hands to argue with Barney, but just imagining taking a hot shower… he lowered them and nodded. 

Gordon followed his friend down the hallway, clothed in just his boxers and a tank top that used to be white, his HEV suit left behind in a crumpled pile. The hallway was empty, as the main lab and loading deck were well away from here. Gordon wondered how Barney found him out of the way like this. He asked him.

"Well, er, I was looking for you, Gordon. You have a tendency to…" Barney smiled fondly. "Let's just say trouble follows wherever you go. Just checkin' if you were okay, that's all." Barney bumps into Gordon's shoulder softly and looks away. Gordon did guess that was fair. As much as his body begged for sleep, he still felt guilty about leading the Combine right to the resistance's door. It was only a matter of time before the Combine caught up with him. 

As they reached the locker room, Gordon observed that the showers were exactly like the ones of a laboratory. Cold stalls lined up with only a curtain for privacy. He couldn't find it in him to even care, he just stripped right away, Barney stuttering something about eagerness, climbed in and turned the shower on. He sighed as hot, clean water hit his skin for the first time in, what, 20 years? He could feel the tension leaving his muscles and warmth spreading through his body, peeking an eye open to see Barney staring at his face, who quickly peeled his eyes away, embarrassed to have been caught staring. 

'Do you have soap? And disinfectant?' He signed, wincing from the wound in his stomach. As the painkillers started to wear off, his bloodied abdomen began to ache. 

"Oh, uh, yeah Doc, let me go grab some. Stay here, I'll be back in a bit." Gordon gave him a tired thumbs-up as Barney left to retrieve them. 

Leaning against the wall separating the stalls, Gordon allowed his eyes to close once more, letting his mind wander, thinking about his mission, about the Combine, about the people he cared about. Eli, Dr. Kleiner, Alyx. Barney. God, Barney. He looked so tired, so alien from the Barney he knew 20 years ago. So different from Barney from Black Mesa. Sure, he was still just as sarcastic and caring and, well, handsome. But it felt like remembering two completely different people. He got grey hairs and crow's feet, and although that definitely did something to Gordon, he knows that not just Barney, but also everyone else was different now. It seemed like just yesterday Alyx was a baby, a little picture in Eli's wallet that he showed around proudly. Now she's fighting alien soldiers in the name of the revolution. 

But Barney. Gordon knew there always was something between them. The stolen looks, the one-liners he said that he thought would go over Gordon's head. "You look good in orange." "I like how you hold that gun." Gordon knew it wasn’t just a friendship. But he didn’t know if he could afford that. He knew it wasn't smart to let that relationship exist. Especially after 20 years. Barney probably had already moved on long ago.

What if he let it, though?

What if he did? What if Gordon allowed himself the vulnerability of love? The safety of it? The feeling of knowing someone's waiting for you to get back from a mission? That someone has your back? What if Gordon knew what Barney's lips felt like on his own, on his chest, he wondered? What if Gordon knew the spot on Barney's neck that made it into something more than kissing? Would it make this whole situation more bearable? Or-

"Hey, Doc!" Barney's voice shook him from his thoughts. "Ya fell asleep there, buddy. Here, I got you some soap and a disinfectant. And some clean bandages. I don't wanna know how long you've had those old ones on." He eyed the bloody mess of bandages on the ground next to Gordon's clothes. Gordon gratefully took the bottles from Barney, offering a tired smile as thanks. As he attempted to start to wash his hair, sudden exhaustion came over him; his knees buckling underneath him as he suddenly found himself collapsing on the tile floor, leaning against the wall.

"Gordon!" Barney exclaimed, pulling aside the curtain, modesty be damned, and rushing to Freeman's side. "You okay, Doc?" Gordon's body, against his will, was physically unable to handle any more strain: his muscles overexerted and more than a few bones broken. He couldn't even raise his hands to answer, sluggish and clumsy. He cleared his throat. 

"I-I can't… can't…" His voice was quiet and raspy, lips cracked. Barney nodded, getting the message and positioning Gordon's body in a way that felt much more comfortable, getting soaked through in the process. 

"That's alright, Doc, you just relax. You've been going nonstop ever since you came back." Gordon's head leaned back against the wall, letting the hot water wash over him. "I'll wash your hair and get to your wound." He sighed in acknowledgment. 

Barney took off his vest and his gloves, pulling a stool up next to Gordon's stall. He reached over and gently took Gordon's glasses from his face, catching the gaze of his brilliant green eyes in the process. He grabbed the shampoo bottle and got to work, carefully scrubbing at Gordon's scalp as the man visibly relaxed underneath him. 

Gordon always found it hard to cry in the shower. He didn't know why; it was just difficult, even when he was at his lowest. But now, feeling Barney's fingers massaging his scalp and looking at him so kindly, with so much fondness, it was the single loveliest thing anyone had done for him. So he couldn't help but cry, lips trembling and eyebrows furrowed together. It wasn't pretty; he was covered in cuts and bruises and was laying on the ground naked, letting out these ugly sobs that echoed through the empty locker room. But Barney let him, staring at him quietly with a faint sad smile and something in his eyes that was melancholic but full of love. Gordon leaned into Barney's touch, his body shaking weakly with sobs. 

Just Barney's presence alone was a major source of comfort for him, and as soon as it came, his tears were gone and all he felt was tired. He closed his eyes all the way, letting out a breath, allowing Barney to continue scrubbing. He rinsed the soap out, applying conditioner and running his hands through Gordon's dark hair, absentmindedly wondering why it had been cut short. He felt Gordon's hair soften, knots coming undone, not matted anymore. Barney reached for the body wash, but hesitated, sucking a breath through his teeth.

"Uh, Gordon, do you want me to…" Gordon cracked open an eye to peer at Barney. Seeing the body wash in Barney's hands, he shrugged. 

'Only if you're okay with it. I can't do it.' He managed to sign, before dropping his hands against his chest. Gordon thought, in any other situation where he wasn't as exhausted, his face would be red and he'd be avoiding Barney's eyes. Which seemed to be Barney's case. His face flushed red as he nodded slowly, trying not to look at his bare body for too long. Gordon shifted closer to him.

He squeezed the body soap into his hands and got to work, starting at Gordon's tense shoulders. He rubbed them, scrubbing away the grime and blood, but also in an attempt to ease his muscles. He went down and washed his back, being gentle around the few bruises and cuts that littered it. He turned Gordon around to get to his chest and abdomen. 

Back at Black Mesa, Gordon was lanky and thin, no muscle to him at all. But through all the tasks and endless running around that Gordon had to go through, he was almost forced to build up some meat. He was still lanky, his gymnast body of lean, hard muscle. So Barney definitely was checking him out and blushed when he realized he was expected to wash all of… that. Gordon grabbed onto the sides of Barney's stool, moving his chest up towards him to give him more access. Barney prayed to God and slowly reached down to lay a hand on Gordon's chest. He felt his heartbeat pick up, feeling the rise and fall of Gordon's breath. Barney tried his best to focus on washing Gordon's body, but man… it was hard to focus when a guy who looked like a fucking model was right in front of him. 

He trailed his hands down to his abdomen, tenderly washing the wound and trying hard not to stare at the trail of hair leading down from his bellybutton to… Barney quickly lifted his gaze. He repositioned himself, getting off the stool and kneeling on the ground next to Gordon for better access to the rest of him. He washes the rest of his legs, avoiding the parts where he was sure Gordon could get by himself. 

Finally finished, Barney rinsed the soap off of Gordon's body and turned the water off. Grabbing a towel from the locker closet, he helped Gordon to his feet and wrapped his waist down in the cloth. 

"Alright, Doc, let's take a look at that wound." He sat him down on a bench and grabbed the disinfectant and new, clean bandages. He got to work, Gordon wincing at the disinfectant's sting and closing his eyes as Barney applied the fresh bandages and wrapped the gauze around his waist. Barney leaned away, admiring his handiwork. Gordon felt better; cleaner. He was dog tired, his muscles sore and strained, but he felt much more… rested. 

'I need to get back to that cot, in the storage room.' He signed after Barney helped him into fresh clothes. Gordon wanted nothing more to just sleep. Barney nodded, and slung Gordon's arm over his shoulder, helping him start to walk. 

"Whatever you say, Doc." As they made their way to the storage room, Gordon was able to sneak some looks at Barney. His face bright red and his hair wet, smiling softly. Gordon looked away, wondering what would happen if Gordon just kissed him right here. If he pushed him against the wall and made use of his tongue. He looked ahead, not daring to even try that. 

He couldn't, he would just put Barney at more risk. He couldn't do that to him; to either of them. It would hurt. But no matter what Gordon thought, the way that Barney chewed at his lip was tempting as all hell. 

They made it back to the storage unit, and Gordon immediately collapsed onto the cot. After everything that happened and how tired Gordon was, it was the most comfortable thing he's ever felt in his life. Barney smiled, glad to see how clean Gordon looked. His hair was soft, his skin was free of any blood or grime, and best of all, Gordon looked at ease for the first time in a long while.

"Well then. Get a good rest, uh, Gordon. Tomorrow is another day on the go." As Barney turned to leave, he felt a hand grab at his wrist. Turning back, he saw Gordon staring at him with lidded green eyes. 

"Could you…. stay?" He spoke quietly, voice still raspy from lack of use. "I… don't want to be alone." Barney chuckled and went to take the seat beside Gordon's cot. He looked relieved but didn't let go of Barney's wrist, instead guiding his hand to his chest and intertwining his fingers with Barney's. It felt like such a relief, lying there, having someone to hold onto, and resting for the first time in a long time. Gordon closed his eyes and began to drift off to blissful sleep. 

Barney eventually left. He had duties of his own to attend to, and holding hands with the One Free Man was regrettably not one of them. So Barney carefully extracted his hand from Gordon's grasp, careful not to wake him. He gathered all the parts of the HEV suit, making a mental note to drop this off and get it repaired and cleaned. He left the storage room, clicking the door closed quietly. 

Inside, Gordon Freeman rested soundly.


End file.
